you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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