His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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