I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
