True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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