It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
