I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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