This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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