gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
