Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
foreskin is a definite game changer
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize