why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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