I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
