ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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