Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
We are all done wearing pants today
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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