Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
