Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
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Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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