I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
The maid of honor just puked.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize