It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
