and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
