Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
