you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
