Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Randomize
