You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
