I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Terrible idea I love it
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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