return my video game
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
