Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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