his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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