I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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