Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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