This house was built for laser tag.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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