I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize