the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
only you would photoshop your dick
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
