naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I am mentally ready for anal.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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