Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
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