I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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