I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
