he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
