And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
