I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
