So many bounce houses so little time
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
