This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
so let's talk penis.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
