How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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