Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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