Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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