I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
