i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
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