:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
