I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Randomize
