Just cropdusted the office
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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