But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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