i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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