Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
