girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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