k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
