Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
