why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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