he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
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My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
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Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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