that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
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