Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize