i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize