i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
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She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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