just come out here and I will go home with you...
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
NoShamevember. You game?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize