it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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