I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
