sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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