Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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