Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
