dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
