I accidentally had phone sex last night
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
